The Impact of Righteous Parents

On my psychiatry rotation, I was able to meet with many different people from all walks of life. I did notice one thing that really fascinated me. Many of the people who I saw on the psychiatric wards had the commonality of either having a poor or tragic childhood, or at least having an emotionally challenging time period when they were growing up. Whether it was being abused in any form as a child, watching their parent be abused, having an alcoholic parent, being neglected, etc., these created problems in these patients lives that they were dealing with as grown adults 20, 30, 40, or even 50 years later. How sad is it that parents do not understand the impact they have on their children. Do we truly understand the responsibility that rests upon us as parents to raise our children in happy, safe, loving, righteous homes? Are we able to see the consequences that may occur to our children if we expose them to harmful, degrading, or neglecting attitudes? No one is perfect and we all will make mistakes as parents, but what are we doing to ensure the success of the future generation?

The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been anxiously engaged in teaching principles that will lead to a successful and happy family as well as how to provide stability for children. They have stated:

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. 'Children are an heritage of the Lord' (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live...and...will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.1

There is a lot of meaning held in this paragraph. The scriptures teach us that "children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalm 127:3); if you look up heritage, one of the meanings is valued object or quality. So children are what He values. Christ also taught us who children really are when He said, "...Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God" (Mark 10:14). Christ wants all children to come unto Him. When He visited the American continent after His resurrection, Christ spent a special amount of time just with the children, we read in the Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi 17: 11-12: "And it came to pass that he commanded that their little children should be brought. So they brought their little children and set them down upon the ground round about him, and Jesus stood in the midst; and the multitude gave way till they had all been brought unto him." He took the time to see every child that was there. What a special experience. Christ knew the impact this would have upon these children's lives, so He spent the time because He knew helping them see His love for them in their youth, would only have exponential dividends as they grew older. The same principle applies to us, showing our children that we love them when they are young is what will help them know of our love as they get older. So many times we may hear that it doesn't matter because the kids don't understand, but that is completely wrong. Just like a solid foundation is essential before building a house, so is teaching our children our love for them. Helping them understand they are loved and that God loves them when they are young is the firm foundation they must have before attempting to build their own character. Without that foundation they will fall, as so many of the patients I saw had.

One example from the Book of Mormon teaches us the impact a righteous parent can have upon children as they grow older. We learn in the book of Alma about an aggressive battle going on between the righteous Nephites and the wicked Lamanites. The battle was fierce, and the Nephites were in need of more soldiers. A group of young men came forward to battle in order to defend their families and their liberty, yet they had never fought in battle before. These young men, 2000 in number, were extremely courageous and faithful unto God. We learn from Alma 53:20-21 about the characteristics of these young men, "...and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all - they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted. Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him." When I read this I think to myself, wow! This is the type of young man I want to raise. I want my kids to be courageous, to be true at all times no matter the consequence, to be truthful, keep the commandments of God, and to walk uprightly before God. How is it that 2000 young men had such a firm grasp on the real important things of life, so much so that they were willing to give up their lives for the family and for their faith? The answer is told to us, "...yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it" (Alma 56:47-48). They had such incredible faith, they kept the commandments of God, and were truthful in all things because they had been taught these principles by their mothers. The impact of a righteous parent can never be underestimated. Because of their faith, all of these 2000 stripling warriors lived through the battles.

In our society today, how can we compete with the constant nagging of the world to forget God and pursue selfish desires over selfless service? How can we teach our children when there are so many influences pulling for their attention as well? The Family: A Proclamation to the World gives us a clear answer:

Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.1

There it is! In such plain language! First of all, children have the right to be born to parents who are legally and lawfully wedded and who treat their marital vows with complete fidelity. From there we read, if we teach our children the principles of Jesus Christ stated in the last sentence, we are likely to have a successful marriage and family! It seems so simple, yet I never hear the principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, or work taught on television, the radio, or the internet (unless diligently sought). In fact, we are bombarded by the opposite of those characteristics from these sources. These are to be taught in the home. When we spend the time practicing these principles ourselves in our home, and teach our children the importance of them, we have the promise that we will be successful and happy in our marriage and in our family.

If parents would only see the impact of their behavior on their children and teach the gospel of Jesus Christ to them when they are young, the problems we face today would decrease drastically. The amount of violence, immorality, dishonesty, selfishness, and maybe even some mental disorders would virtually come to a halt; all because we realize the importance of raising our children in the way the Lord would have it done. I hope that through example and teaching, more people will change and put the principles of the gospel in the forefront of their lives. The damage I saw on my psychiatry rotation in adults and children was enough to break my heart; yet I know it doesn't need to be that way. If we only will live the gospel, teach the gospel, and embrace the principles it teaches we will all be happier. I am grateful for my knowledge of the gospel and the testimony I have that if I live by its precepts and teach them to my children, they and I will be happy. I am grateful to parents who also believed and taught the same principles to me. I hope that we all can help others see these blessings as well.

1. The Family: A Proclamation to the World, http://www.lds.org/family/proclamation/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng&query=proclamation+family.